Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Fool's Gold

Psalm 14 and 53 both say, “The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” So what does the term “fool” actually mean? Does it mean innocently ignorant or just pain idiotic? Online sites provided me with the following:

Fool: a harmlessly deranged person or one lacking in common powers of understanding
Fool: a weak-minded or idiotic person
Fool: a person who lacks judgment or sense
Fool: a silly or stupid person

I prefer to define “fool” as someone who lacks understanding, or who is perhaps weak-minded, but only because of the lack of knowledge or insight. And if that’s my definition, I’ve met some pretty foolish people lately. Again, not stupid or idiotic, just ignorant of Truth because they have not been taught any better. It's like a child looking for treasure and when the come upon iron or copper pyrites, they jump for joy...because those "pyrites" are sometimes mistaken for golden treasures.

While in Spain with my interns, I encourage each of them to never sit together on public transportation. Perhaps I’m a bit strict in this, but I firmly believe that if we throw ourselves into the culture and language, God will open our ears, loosen our tongues, and bless us with conversation, as basic as it may be, and opportunity to sow some spiritual seeds. If nothing else, the interns grow comfortable in their shoes as foreigners and learn to quickly rely on the Spaniards for language learning. As the leader of the group, I must set the example, right? And so I strive to do just that. It doesn’t always happen, nor do I always follow the Spirit’s prompting, but on one occasion, a relationship was established. Here’s my story of “C”:

I thought to myself, “What in the world do I say to this girl?” I made up something to ask her…something about a particular tourist attraction in downtown Granada and she started explaining to me how to purchase tickets and such and the conversation progressed from there. “Where are you from…” to “How long will you be in Spain…” to questions about education, culture, and life in general. After 30 minutes on the bus, I asked her what her name was. I’ll refer to her as “C”. We quickly exchanged e-mail addresses and cell phone numbers. She rang the bell on the bus and hopped off at the next stop…

I waited 2 days and decided to be proactive in seeking her out. She immediately responded to my email and reciprocated the fact that it was wonderful meeting on the bus and that we should indeed partake of some strong Spanish coffee together. The next day, we met and sat for almost 2 hours over coffee and donuts. (She had NEVER had a donut, by the way. She LOVED them!) We talked about our families in our home countries and our perspective of the Spanish family as we are both foreigners here. We dug a little deeper…in our best Spanglish.

“C” is a 25 year-old French girl who has resided in Spain for 10 months now. She is a Spanish and Music major who is paying her way by being a nanny in the home of Spaniards. Her first language is obviously French, followed by English, and then Spanish. Her parents are divorced and she detests her father and brothers. Her father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and she admitted that even if he were to get very ill that she would have to carefully consider whether or not she would care for him and if she did, it would most likely be financially and not personally. She is, however, very close with her mother.

At the age of 21, “C” mentioned going through a “storm” and that is when something quite “mystical” happened. She denied the existence of God until that moment, therefore having lived the first 21 years of her life as an atheist. I am still unsure of what that storm was, but I will admit being grateful for it. It caused her to search for God. And so we dug a little deeper…

I asked “C” if her parents had any influence on her religious decisions and she said that it has been just within the past year that her mother has verbally expressed being Catholic, though she has never attended Mass or church events that “C” can remember from growing up. I’ll assume then that her parents have had very little to zero impact on her spiritually.

So four years have passed since “C” began her search and within the past 5 weeks she has settled on a religion that she says is “rude” yet “beautiful”. She said her frustration, however is that the Koran she is reading is in Spanish, her third language, and not in French. Yes, I said the Koran. She considers herself to be a Muslim woman. She admits seeing nothing wrong with the oppression of women in the religion and also feels that those who live out their faith in militant and violent ways are not living out their religion properly. She does not want people assuming she is a terrorist or that she encourages such behavior.

As we left the coffee shop and donut crumbles behind, my heart began to feel as if it weighed a few tons. She asked about me and I briefly mentioned being a Christian, which of course she chose to relate to the Catholic church. She thought it was very odd that I did not believe in Evolution nor of the teachings of Darwin. She did recall that Darwin denied his theories and admitted to Divine Design before his death, but she thought it was absurd that he would do such a thing after having provided “a way” to believe. And yes, she does think she evolved from a monkey.

We stood on a street corner and said farewell. I invited her to help teach English at an English camp that my team will help facilitate next week. She seemed very interested and even mentioned that two of the children that she lived with would probably be interested in attending. However, I have yet to hear from “C” since we last met. Almost a week has passed. I wonder if that was the last time I was to be used in her life. Makes me think and wonder why God would put her in my path and then allow her to disappear back into her dark world of contemplation.

Perhaps the seed was just for me to plant. Perhaps someone else has been chosen to water that seed. And of course, it’s God that will infuse some Miracle Grow…

Pray for “C” today.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm Not Happy

It's one thing to be happy about what God's doing in my life; it's another to be content. Happiness is fleeting. It's that feeling you get when you see an old Spaniard (Yes, I'm writing from Spain!) couple hobbling down a cobblestone street hand in hand, knowing they've probably been married for 60 years. And the fact that most of the old men wear v-neck sweaters and golfer hats makes it even better! It's that feeling you get when you ride the carousel at a lawn party or amusement park...or maybe that's just nausea. Happiness is what you feel when a soldier returns home from war and sees his daughter for the first time or kisses his bride after seemingly years, when it's "only" been months. Happiness is eating that one comfort food(s) (Reece Cups, beef jerkey, and Dr. Pepper for me) that makes reality disappear for as long as it takes you to chew and swallow. Happiness just doesn't ever seem to last very long, does it?

Contentment, on the other hand, is sought and can actually be lived out continuously. It doesn't fade or weaken unless you let it. Happiness disappears faster than you can snap your fingers...like when your favorite sports team is winning and all of the sudden they lose with a last second goal or home run or buzzer-beater half-court shot from the other team. You sit there looking at the TV in disbelief and all the rush and thrill and excitement disappear instantly. Or like when everything is going your way, nothing can stop you, and then an unexpected bill comes in the mail and your checking account won't cover it...or like the day that my mom got that phone call. Or the day that I had to board a plane knowing Mom would face chemo and that I wouldn't get to "fight" the battle with her. Happiness, I've decided, is for the birds...

Contentment, however, is a gift.

Contentment. Paul learned to have it and he was tortured. We're talking about being on a ship that was destroyed, being stoned (probably not with pretty smooth river pebbles), being whipped, being naked, cold and hungry. And that thorn in the flesh? Seriously??? Who was he to talk about contentment? And joy sandwiched in between each trial and tribulation? I'm thinking that Paul was just a sinner gone mad, wouldn't you agree? Hopeless, downtrodden, afflicted, and beaten to the point of losing his mind and assuming life couldn't possibly be something enjoyable. He was a sinner gone mad and figured, "What the hell...if I'm gonna live this life, I may as well learn to like it...even if it absolutely sucks. Maybe...just maybe my luck will turn." RIGHT?

Oh my...that's so wrong.

Poverty, loneliness, war, natural disaster, failed relationships, messed up marriages, broken homes, abuse of every type, cancer, every other sickness, depression,and even death...all are evidence that a hopeless generation exists. They are things that obliterate happiness. But they don't have to deprive us of contentment. None of these things are things that God created. They derive from a fallen world; sin really messed this world up. There's nothing we can do about that. That's why Jesus lived, and died, and rose. He cares for the less-fortunate and comforts the lonely, drives away our enemies, calms the winds and the sea, restores trust between friends, rebuilds and sustains marriages, turns cold houses into warm homes, forgives abuse, heals illnesses, gives hope and purpose to the downtrodden, and yes...He still raises Lazaruses from the dead.

I don't really know why I wrote this post. I guess somebody out there needed to hear it or maybe I needed to...

I was going to update you on my mom and tell you how God is at work here in Spain and among my five interns, but that's just going to have to wait for another day. As for now, know that my mom is doing very well. Chemo is no fun, but she is handling it with GOD-size strength and perseverance. She's not happy about cancer or doing kartwheels, but I honestly believe she's content in the fact that God allowed her to have cancer so that somebody else wouldn't be plagued with it. And Spain...Spain is just as beautiful as it was when I came last year...you'll just have to sit anxiously until my next post to hear how God is moving here. I'm not exactly happy about being far from home right now, but I'm very content about some specific people whom God has placed in my life here for "such a time as this"...

Thanks for reading...
Thanks for praying...
YOU are appreciated!
God is still rockin' my world.

Steph